5 Core Principles of Family Constellations
Have you ever felt stuck in a pattern you can’t explain, like repeating the same mistakes over and over again?
Sometimes, these patterns aren’t just about you—they can be part of the invisible dynamics passed down through your family.
This is where Family Constellations can help.
Family Constellations is based on a few key ideas that help explain how we’re connected to our families, ancestors, and the larger systems around us.
Here’s what it’s all about:
1) A Systemic Approach
In Family Constellations, we see each person as part of a bigger system—like a family, community, or culture.
The idea is that we’re all shaped by these larger systems, and understanding the dynamics within them can give us insight into why we feel or behave the way we do.
Bert Hellinger, the founder of Family Constellations, emphasized looking at the bigger picture to truly understand what’s going on in our lives.
2) Ancestral Connections
This work recognizes that the experiences of past generations can affect us today.
Unresolved issues or trauma from our ancestors can trickle down through the family line, showing up in the way we live and relate to others, even if we’re not fully aware of it.
This works in different ways depending on your family system:
Inherited trauma. For example, studies have shown that descendants of Holocaust survivors or people who have experienced famine may have higher stress responses or certain health risks, even if they never lived through those events themselves.
Unconscious patterns of behaviour. For example, if a family member was excluded, shamed, or experienced trauma, later generations might unconsciously repeat or compensate for these dynamics.
Family loyalty. Without realizing it, we may carry the burdens, emotions, or traumas of our ancestors as a way of staying connected to our family or “belonging.” This is often referred to as systemic entanglement, where one generation unconsciously repeats or carries the unresolved issues of a previous generation, whether out of loyalty, love, or a need for balance in the family system.
Family stories. If an ancestor experienced a significant event—like loss, war, or betrayal—those experiences may be embedded in the family’s collective memory. This can influence how later generations approach relationships, deal with conflict, or handle emotions.
Crucially, we may not be aware of any direct event that may be influencing the dynamics of today.
3) Unconscious Loyalties
We often carry unconscious loyalties to our family members or ancestors—like a hidden sense of obligation. These invisible connections can impact our relationships and decisions in ways we don’t always realize. Family Constellations helps bring these patterns to light.
4) Order and Balance
Bringing balance to a family system is a big part of Family Constellations. This means acknowledging any imbalances—like when someone in the family wasn’t properly recognized or when roles were disrupted. By honoring each person’s place in the system, we restore order, which allows healing to happen.
5) Resolving Trauma
A core aim of Family Constellations is to heal underlying trauma that’s been passed down through the family. By facing and addressing these past experiences, we can create space for healing in the present and break free from old patterns.
Overall, Family Constellations is about raising awareness of the hidden dynamics in your family, so you can find healing, balance, and move forward with a clearer sense of self.